How Does Memphis Say Love?

Poverty. Infant mortality. Homelessness. High dropout rates in our schools.

I often hear, 'I want to help, but I don't know if what I can do will really make a difference in Memphis. ' My heart, as well as my years of experience in social services, tells me that people are indeed making a difference. Moreover, the various efforts already in place can be taken to scale to better serve at-risk children, families and communities in our city, if we do the right things.

The right things include loving those around you, from family and friends to complete strangers. The Greek word 'agape' refers specifically to this altruistic, nonromantic type of love -- the love of humankind. Agape involves loving beyond yourself for the betterment of someone else. That's how Memphis says love -- by practicing agape.

While true agape is not easy, there are three primary areas in which Memphians can show love and make a difference in our city, especially for those living in poverty and in underresourced communities. Just pick one as your part - and get started.

Relationships

My 26 years of experience in the human services field have taught me that children and families are best helped through a network of loving, consistent and meaningful relationships. Relationships with parents and caregivers are especially important for children during the first three years of life, when their brains are still developing and adapting to the world around them. A baby's mind is shaped by the 'serve and return' pattern of positive interactions such as eye contact and facial expressions. Relationships can also take less traditional forms (mentors, tutors, coaches, counselors). While the ninth-grader I mentor may gain something from me through our weekly connections, I gain just as much, if not more, from him. Both types of relationships are critical for making Memphis a city of agape.

Jobs

'Hey, man, you got a job for me?' is a common thing I hear, especially in the poverty-ridden neighborhoods we serve.

The Urban Child Institute is a local, research-based organization promoting awareness of the importance of children's first three years. The Institute is helping our city understand what we can do to ensure that our children have optimal brain development through positive experiences and relationships early in life. So what does that have to do with jobs? For school readiness at age 5, a child needs a solid foundation in language skills as well as social and emotional skills. With this foundation laid, the child is more likely to succeed in the classroom and graduate from high school. With a high school diploma, a young person is more likely to obtain postsecondary school or training that promotes job readiness.

Hope

It literally means to have an 'expectation' of something that is even better in the future. While we work hard to improve the quality of life for all in Memphis (as we should!), if you don't believe there is anything good beyond this moment, you then live only in the moment, as many in poverty do. We should promote the understanding that life is to be lived now, with a sense of justice, righteousness and peace, but also with a sense of hope for an even greater future -- one that provides children, families and communities with reason to desire transformed hearts, minds and spirits.

For 40 years, AGAPE Child and Family Services has served Greater Memphis with the promise that 'agape does mean love.' AGAPE recently launched a collaborative effort called Powerlines Community Network to engage all of those desiring to spread love to communities where children and families are unlikely to have what they need to be successful. We have engaged churches, nonprofit organizations, public institutions, corporations and volunteers who want to find ways to use the gift of agape to help make Memphis a city of choice for all.

Making Memphis the city we want it to be will require mundane, thankless and often unnoticed acts of goodness and kindness to others. It will require those who love our city to see it as a city of love for all, not just for those of us who are privileged with positive relationships, strong early experiences, viable education and meaningful jobs. And it will require hope -- hope that lets us live in a present that is inadequate for many while maintaining a belief that tomorrow can really be different and even better.

Tutor a child in an apartment complex. Be a mentor. Get your church involved in an impoverished community. Hire someone who needs a second chance. Have your corporation volunteer as a group for a day. Read to a young child. Demonstrate that you understand positive relationships, especially with young children. Show love to others in your life. Be love to those who are less loved.

So, how do you plan to show love to Memphis in 2011?

David Jordan is executive director of AGAPE Child and Family Services. For information, call 323-3600 or visit AgapeMeansLove.org.

Originally appeared in The Commercial Appeal at http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2011/jan/09/guest-column-how-does-memphis-say-love/