What is the Best Gift You Can Give?

The holiday season is underway: Many Memphis families recently finished celebrating Hanukkah, others are getting ready for Christmas in less than a month, and still others anticipate Kwanzaa shortly thereafter. At this time of year, we are often asked: “What is the most important thing for parents and families with babies and toddlers to remember during these special times?”

Our answer is a variation of the old Hallmark card slogan: during the holidays, when you care to give the very best, you give yourself (Tweet this!).

There’s nothing more important, because holidays and celebrations give parents unrivaled opportunity to instill a strong sense of security, confidence, and a sense of wonder that nurture their young children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development.

There is nothing more valuable for children than memories of a loving family sharing special rituals, playtime with relatives and friends, and favorite foods and music. Experiences like these are especially important in the first years of life, when the brain is still developing the connections that underlie thinking, feeling, and learning. A child’s environment plays a large role in how the brain forms and organizes these connections. Warm and responsive interactions support healthy brain development and promote long-term well-being and success.

Holidays are times with special opportunities for TTRP – Touch, Talk, Read, Play – with hugging and snuggling, more time for conversations, new books to read, and special games to play. In addition, the chance to play with other children in the family helps in the development of creative thinking, problem-solving, decision-making, and communications skills like listening, cooperating, and negotiating.

These simple pleasures become even more important today in the face of commercialization that often puts things ahead of people and presents ahead of presence. It is in this environment that no gift has more lasting importance than time with loving, warm parents in a stress-free environment.

As adults, when we look back at the times that were most memorable in our childhood, it’s rare for us to think back to the gifts that were purchased for us. In fact, we often can’t even remember what presents we received on these holidays. What we do remember – vividly and warmly – are the family traditions when the generations got together and year to year revived the bonds of family that made us feel so special and unique.

Many of the most powerful childhood memories are not just about being treated with love but also about expressing this love for others by reaching out to help those in need, serving food to the homeless, attending services and events that inform them of their heritage or faith traditions, and volunteering to deliver food to seniors confined to their homes. These activities define and reflect the values that hold our families together.

When all the gifts are opened and all the leftovers are gone, the best present for any young child is a parental relationship that gives him the confidence that he is loved, secure, and important. It is the gift that keeps on giving, because it becomes the foundation for positive early childhood development that allows a child to thrive and becomes the cornerstone for growth into adulthood.

In other words, when you care to give the very best, give of yourself. It’s the most precious gift your child will ever receive.