Who Knew Cookie Monster Could Teach Self Control?

Self-control is a skill all children need to learn in order to fit into and function successfully in society. When a child is able to control his impulses and modify his behavior when necessary, he tends to have better critical thinking skills, to be more ready for school, and to have better relationships later in life.

Cookies and Marshmallows: More Than Treats

Even Cookie Monster on Sesame Street is sending the message about how important self-control is. In the new season of the 45-year-old program, Cookie Monster learns that he doesn’t always get a cookie when he wants one, but if he waits, the good news is that he sometimes gets two.

It’s Sesame Street’s version of the classic “marshmallow test” conducted nearly a half century ago by Stanford psychologist Walter Mischel. He put preschoolers at a desk with a marshmallow and a bell and told them they could eat the marshmallow whenever they wanted – but if they waited 15 minutes until an adult arrived, they would get two.

Only about 30 percent of the children were able to wait, but those who did also showed a better ability to self-regulate, handle stress, and manage anger. In the early 1980s, when researchers tracked down the children from the original marshmallow experiment, they found that those who had demonstrated early self-control had higher SAT scores and better academic records as teenagers.

Meanwhile, back on Sesame Street, the show’s lead researcher explained why Cookie Monster had to learn self-control: “We have always focused on the social and emotional well-being of children.” And that’s the whole point. Scientists have proven the effects of a children’s earliest experiences on the development of the brain, and this research has deepened our understanding of the crucial importance of children’s early social and emotional development. Neuroscience researchers Sandra Aamodt and Sam Wange, co-authors of “Welcome to Your Child’s Brain,” have written that self-control is twice as important as intelligence when it comes to academic achievement.

The First Three Years Foreshadow the Years to Come

The foundation for self-control is laid in the first three years. Outwardly, infants and toddlers may often seem to show a complete lack of self-control, but don't be fooled: They are well on their way to mastering early self-regulation skills that form the basis for later self-control.

To develop self-control, our youngest children need parents and caregivers who are responsive to their needs and foster trust, because children need the attachment, or sense of security, that forms with parents and caregivers when they see adults who manage their own emotions calmly and without outbursts, who teach them to handle their anxiety in new or frightening situations.

As they grow into toddlers, children are better able to manage themselves when they are motivated by something important to them, but it’s important to remember that a child can’t be expected to wait beyond their developmental ability. For example, an age-appropriate lesson shows a child is that he achieves his goal if he waits, but not to the point that he becomes anxious and risks losing trust in his parents and caregivers.

The Early Years are Irreplaceable

We can help children learn self-control and teach parents and caregivers how to nurture it. By doing so, we can empower children to be resilient, socially well-adjusted, and emotionally equipped to overcome obstacles and reach their potential.

That’s why our unequivocal message to Memphis is this: the first three years are an opportunity that cannot be wasted because they will never come again.